Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
