absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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