allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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