Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
