i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
