I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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