If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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