he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
