for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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