mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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