I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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