you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
