sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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