If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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