if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
