My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
