If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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