I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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