I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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