8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
