I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Dick very happy bro
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
