so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Quick, to the slutcave!
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
