you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
