Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
