I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
