She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
