i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
