the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize