It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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