once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
