I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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