She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
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