I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
So much Jack, so little girl.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
