Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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