Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
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