Well apparently he's into motor boating.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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