When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
