How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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