Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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