Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Just invented taco cereal.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I would fuck him just for his dog
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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