fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
