YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
