I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize