We won't sleep together?
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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