i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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