If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
