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i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
my sisters under your porch take her home
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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