i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
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