I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
