Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
