Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Randomize
