he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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