When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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