Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
