so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
