i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
