please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
