Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
