two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
