should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
