It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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