i wish there were pregnant emoticons
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Damn victory sex feels great
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